Please don’t tell me you think I should be allowed to remarry. It’s not as kind as you think it is.


I highly recommend you read this blog by Róisín Gallagher which states from an intensely personal perspective, Catholic truth far more eloquently than I could on this.

It contains some important perspective for priests:
It saddened me to learn that I wasn’t the only person to whom a member of the clergy had said “you’re being too hard on yourself”. Whilst these sound like kind caring words, when addressed to a person who has turned to you for advice on how to live a more authentic, more Christ-centered life, they can actually be the complete opposite. Worse still, when offered as a response to a confession of something clearly sinful it has the potential to be damaging. This is exactly my idea of a ‘false concept of mercy’.
We are inundated with a wealth of life advice every day; I can read articles and blogs about how I should live. I can follow the example of countless celebrities and can embrace the pseudo freedom that the media wants me to believe I posses. I can be happy with this relationship, or that job. I can do anything I want. And yet I am drawn back to the counter cultural life of the Catholic Church because it has something that every other institution lacks. The Truth!
This part, in particular, nearly brought me to tears:
Mostly, because I really, really want it to be true. I really do want it to be okay for me to be divorced and get married again. (Now that I know the Catholic Marriage I’d like, it’s a near all consuming thought). Like any human person, I want it to be alright to do all the things that make me happy, right now! I want it to be fine to drown myself in temporal pleasure.
But it’s not.
It just isn’t. It’s a lie.
Perhaps because, despite all my sins, all my stupid decisions, my poor judgement, my dreadful mistakes, I did this right. I had a Catholic idea of marriage which I stuck to. I married the right person, the person God had planned, and my marriage is the best thing I ever did. It has been blessed with much sadness as well as laughter, but all the great burdens of life have been made possible by my partnership with my wife who I love more than words can say.

The result of this good decision is that I want that same potential fulfilled for everyone, most importantly my own children. So I try my best to explain to them what the essential and valuable elements of a Catholic marriage are; most importantly rooted in an understanding of the imago Dei and the fundamental dignity of every human being. But after reading Róisín's blog, I wonder if her negative testimony is in fact more powerful than my positive one?


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bishop John Arnold - "A Nasty Little Bully"

Image
Pat Buckley has posted  a letter from a Salford priest giving the low down on what is going on in that diocese. I think it is really important because it is a report from the diocese, but also because if you pay attention to communications from the CCBEW you would think Bishop Arnold is the best bishop in the country! This despite the fact he is clearly seriously at odds with much of the Catholic faith and overly concerned with issues best described as mission creep. He advised the Catenian Association to drop "practicing Catholic" from its statutes and is obsessed with CAFOD and climate change, issues which might seem trendy, but in reality only diminish the Gospel. Arnold is chairman of CAFOD and approved the appointment of the current director who is clearly at odds with Catholic teaching . He also loves an "LGBTQI+ Mass" - more on some of that stuff here . To me he epitomises so many of the bishops: he likes the trappings and power but is very uncomfortable wit...
Read more

Real Life Catholics on BBC TV defend Church Teaching on Contraception.

Image
This morning on BBC TV Sunday Morning Live there was a good debate inspired by Melinda Gates (who identifies as Catholic) comments about the pope potentially changing doctrine on contraception. The Catholic contributors were Fr Paddy McCafferty, Clare Short and Obianuju Ekeocha. I think they did really well. Uju's direction is very interesting and easily wrong foots those who want to impose western ideas of morality on Africans in an imperialistic way. Interesting that the presenter agrees with her on this. Fr Paddy gave a great account of his experience as a priest. He was compassionate, realistic and honest, while upholding the value and importance of the doctrine. Clare said she had experience of both ways and the Catholic way is better by far. I thought that was awesome! I especially liked her focus on equality and bringing the responsibility of both husband & wife into the discussion. Watch out for the bit where the other lady says "Pope Francis has ind...
Read more